the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
