im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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