Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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