At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
