i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
