so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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