I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think your dad took our porno
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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