We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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