please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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