if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
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