Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
