I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
