i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
