you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
