need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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