Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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