I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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