She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
