So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
