Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
