I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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