porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize