The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
