Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
