he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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