I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
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Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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