I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
