woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize