Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
