he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
