I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
