She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
