I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
