If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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