I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
