Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
