Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
