I heard we made out
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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