oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
