Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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