would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
