you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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