THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
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I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
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Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high