ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.