YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
