But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
