you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
