Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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