Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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