# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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