Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
two words...techno handjob
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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