also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize