While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it glows. i had to have it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram