Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize