Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm home, then i'll come over
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me