Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
