I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
