I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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