So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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