Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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