Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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