Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize