i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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